The Order of The Cosplaynati

Mushroom Girl has a nice big pair of mushrooms

2010-06-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

Ooooh finally something good!

2010-06-28T11:27:00.001-07:00

Remember that nutjob Irenecullen? The Order's communist ally Five-Star General Chao challenged Irene Cadiz to a proper debate in the campus of Ateneo. Guess what? That cowardly dumbass internet toughguy/girl never showed up! The Order formally and enthusiastically congratulates the brave and intelligent General in his successful skirmish against an enemy most foul.

Now we listen to a dramatic hotblooded musical number from Jam Project to celebrate this happy occasion.

Stop Acting Like A Fucking Pussy, Gamer Totoy

2010-06-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm going to cut to the chase and get serious.

Gamer Totoy, what the fuck man? You were doing so well in exposing the degenerates and jejenerates in the local cosplay. You gained notoriety with your witty and shocking posts. Nowadays, you post faggotry like this:

And this:

Furthermore, what the hell are these faggoty comments you've been posting?

And then there's this:

Do you really want to lose readers that badly? What's next? UP? Dela Salle? AMA? Hogwarts? Stick to the nasty stuff of cosplay, you shithead.

For some reason, you just sound as butt-hurt and bitter as the targets of your blogposts. It's just not funny like before. It's like you just point out "assumed facts" regarding your critics (plus non-critics) and blast them away. It's like you're diverting attention from something.

Are you trying to tell us something? I'm no Dr. Phil but it's pretty obvious that you have personal issues. First that goddamn story about saving some cosplaying girl from some older guy and now this. Stop acting like a fucking pussy. Leave your bitterness and move on. Go out and have fun. Get a girl if you want to. After all that relaxation, recreation and self-reflection, post the good shit your readers used to clamor for.

Quit being a goddamn motherfucking cocksucker already. If you don't shape up, you can just go fuck yourself. In hell.

The Order's new logo

2010-06-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

This is the new logo that befits the sinister image of the Order. The Order was delighted and inspired by the villains in the manga-based movie 20th Century Boys. It would be so awesome if we have giant robots to bring doom, destruction and domination to all.

We are the Cosplaynati. We shall conquer by this sign.

All hail the Chanemperor!

2010-06-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Whatever you do, don't look at his chin. You'll get hypnotized.

... I SAID DON'T LOOK aw damnit.

The Order now has Plurk!

2010-06-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Everybody's favorite sinister cosplay organization now has its own Plurk account. Don't forget to friend it! :)

The Order's Official Plurk Account

Also, Miss Hannah Minx says "mizu".

In the shadows we work silently against our hated enemies

2010-06-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

This blog will be inactive for at least a week. The Order will conduct a mission of utmost importance. Soon, all those who are offensive in the eyes of the Order shall be vanquished. Soon, all cosplayers shall kneel before the order. Every move the Order makes is one step towards cosplay world domination.

To Cosplay Circle, Nosebleed Cosplay Guild, Cosplay PH, Irenecullen, White Knights of the False Cosplay Goddess Alodia, Irenecullen, Gian Chin-Chan and all the rest of their ilk: the Order remains resolute. We will crush you. Your days are numbered. There's nothing you can do about it.

We are the Cosplaynati. We are strong. Long live the Order! Doom and destruction to all enemies!

KUTSU! ^w^

2010-06-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

GM Salvatore apologizes to the cosplay community just like that certain blogger

2010-06-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

I would like to apologize to the cosplay community for my hostility and aggression towards the various cosplay organizations other than the Order. There's a tragic story behind my "supposed" evil. In fact, it's a bajillion times more tragic than what Gamer Totoy went through. You'll shed bucketloads of tears when you read this.

It all started when I attended my first comic book convention. I was 10 years old when Mom and Dad accompanied me. We were on our way to the car after the leaving the convention. I couldn't wait to watch my VHS tape of Neon Genesis Evangelion. We were all happy. Well, except Mom because she caught Dad ogling at a scantily clad catgirl. Correction, nearly all of us were happy.

That is, until tragedy struck. A robber stopped us and pulled out his gun. The scumbag was demanding our money. Dad resisted. The robber shot him. Mom screamed. The robber shot her too. I was traumatized to have seen my parents being gunned down. Their blood stained my Spider-Man costume. The robber was about to shoot me until a strong arm caught his pistol. It was Batman.

I saw fear on the robber's face when he was quickly disarmed. Batman lifted him by the collar, stared into the robber's eyes and uttered these memorable words:

"I like chocolate milk."

Batman knocked the robber out before imparting these epic words:

"But I don't like you."

Suddenly, Luke Skywalker, Wolverine and Son Goku arrived with a couple of police officers. To my disappointment, I found out that my rescuer wasn't really Batman. His name was Fred. He was a private investigator and a big Batman fan. He was a member of a big cosplay organization. My life was changed. I've decided to become a badass cosplayer just like Fred.

NEXT: My Hardcore Training

The ManBearPig Incident

2010-06-02T04:53:00.000-07:00

This is GM Salvatore writing. Things have been really weird lately which is why I haven't been posting lately. You see, last week, our resident "warlock" Frater Invictus, offered to do an experimental black magick ritual. Our dialogue went along something like this:

Frater Invictus: Greetings Grandmaster. I have an interesting proposal for you and no it doesn't involve gay sex.

Me: What do you have in mind, Frater?

FI: I've been experimenting with chaos magick and I've done some fascinating results in evoking fictional characters. Have you ever watched that South Park episode with Al Gore?

Me: Yes I- GASP! You mean-?

FI: Yes. MANBEARPIG.

We can now use ManBearPig to inflict harm upon our enemies.

Me: What are we waiting for? Lets go!

Soror Lux and I went to Frater Invictus' house to witness his ritual. It was a ritual heavily influenced by shamanism and witchcraft. After ingesting large amounts of nutmeg, FI did a banishing ritual before chanting "ManBearPig" while beating his tambourine. Fifteen minutes later, he stopped because he claimed to have sensed ManBearPig's presence. FI requested ManBearPig's power to ruin our rival cosplay groups. FI thanked ManBearPig for his time and did a banishing ritual.

From that moment on, things REALLY got weird. It's a good thing Soror Lux and I do our daily prayers to the Cosplay Goddess because ManBearPig was messing with us. Doors were mysteriously opened, objects flew around and the unnerving thing was that Soror Lux's cat kept on hissing for no reason at all. Nobody got hurt but it seems that the poltergeist really messed our our PCs. We are pretty sure it was the work of ManBearPig.

Right now, things are back to normal. The PCs are fixed and Soror Lux's cat has reverted back to her lovable feline self. Despite the failure, the Order will try again to control the destructive power of ManBearPig and use it against our enemies. One day, the Order will reign supreme.

We are the Cosplaynati. We summon a fucking cartoon character.

Abundonce

2010-05-27T03:53:00.000-07:00

You know what's more dangerous than the Chin of Destruction? The Nipples of Destruction. I think this guy was inspired by Daimos. Remember the Double Blizzard?

Don't you wish this transformation happens to all geek girls?

2010-05-25T04:18:00.000-07:00

Truly, a miracle from the one and true Cosplay Goddess.

Sharingan Shenanigans

2010-05-24T06:42:00.001-07:00

Whoa! I bet he stores a lot of chakra in his jaw.

To Those Retarded White Knights

2010-05-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

The Order greatly despises these fanatical White Knights of Alodia. They bash and burn whoever commits even the slightest offense against their false goddess. I have news for you: the one and true Cosplay Goddess is coming. She'll dethrone your precious and pure(?) idol and you'll all kneel before her. She's prettier, sexier and, by the gods, her breasts are the most fantastic things in the universe. Her heart belongs to all. Her love is transcendent and pristine. Her power can save cosplay especially from our hated rivals, the haters and the fanatical Alodia cultists. Your end will come, White Knights. If I were you, I'd start switching to the winning side. The Order could use a new paladin or two. Join us or be destroyed.

We are the Cosplaynati. With our Goddess, we are strong.

Toy Con 2010 plus Asian Emoticons

2010-05-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

No doubt that the Order will be attending the The 9th Philippine Toys, Hobbies and Collectibles Convention 2010. We have several members who'd be there. Sadly, the rest of the Order couldn't come due to work. Thank goodness that I'm an entrepreneur. I can't wait!

Oh and once again here's the lovely Miss Hannah Minx talking about Asian emoticons.

Gamer Totoy bashers are morons

2010-05-21T03:40:00.000-07:00

I'm a frequent visitor to Gamer Totoy's blog and I facepalm everytime I see the stupidity of his haters. What a bunch of morons. You see, these idiots think that Gamer Totoy is a real bad guy in the cosplay community. He is not. I repeat, HE IS NOT. A real bad guy acts a lot more sinister (Man I love that word. Say it with me. SINISTER.) in actions complete with cold calculations. You think the Order is trolling. Actually yes we are but this isn't just for the lulz. It's all part of the grand masterplan.

My point is that these haters (especially that fucking nutjob Irenecullen) are wasting their time bashing Gamer Totoy. They should be bashing the Order of The Cosplaynati! Yes, the Order of The Cosplaynati is the real bad guy in the cosplay world. We are the ones behind every shit that happens in the cosplay community. If there's a huge statue of Alodia (I wouldn't be surprised if the White Knights really built a statue of Alodia), we'd be the ones to bomb it just like Cobra trying to bomb the Statue of Liberty.

Yes I know GI Joe always beats Cobra. However, we don't live in a Saturday morning cartoon world. In this world, the bad guys win. Heroes no longer exist. People are spineless nowadays. What's even more spineless than the average person are cosplayers who are not within the Order. Unlike Cobra, the Order always win. To Irenecullen and all the other haters and bashers, I say this unto you: In the end, you will be wiped out when the Order conquers the world. Also, go fuck yourselves.

We are the Cosplaynati. We are the real bad guys.

*evil laugh*

- GM Salvatore

The Order in the Words of Secretary Lux

2010-05-20T18:26:00.000-07:00

Good Day, ladies and gentlemen. This is Lux, secretary for the Cosplaynati. While I'm not as flamboyant and over-the-top as our supreme leader GM Salvatore, I'm more concise and straightforward with my words. Let me explain what the Order really is.

The Order of The Cosplaynati is basically an ambitious cosplay group determined to rule the world. When I mean the world, I mean the cosplay world. I'm not as aggressive as the other members but I help in keeping the Order, well, in order. I do most of the work in maintaining stability within the group. When there's trouble brewing internally, I'm there to fix it.

The Order is a nice group. Really. We may have a sinister image but we're like a nicer and stealthy version of Warhammer 4k's Chaos Marines. Sure most of us go nuts all the time but we're still willing to reason. Just don't wear lousy costumes in front of them. If you do, they'd be likely to berserk.

Trust me on this, the Order isn't really that bad. Heck, on afternoons we have a tea parties over at my place. When it's tea time, the members retain some enough sanity to enjoy some Earl Grey and butter cookies. We don't take kindly to outsiders but if we like them, we consider them as friends.

As closing remarks, I will read passages from the Book of The Cosplaynati to instill inspiration in not only our members but also non-members who genuinely seek awesomeness.

"I, the One and True Cosplay Goddess, bestow my love not only to my devotees but also to non-believers and even oppressors. I am beauty and adoration incarnate. I will always be there to help cosplayers and non-cosplayers. I'm never gonna give you up. I'm never gonna let you down."

- September 15, 2003

Praise be to the One and True Cosplay Goddess. Power to the Order.

I'd climb her Roppongi Hills

2010-05-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

The Order shall take a break from the usual sinister content and share this video of the gorgeous Miss Hannah Minx.

Just in case you're wondering, she is NOT the prophesied goddess. Still, she has huge... potential.

Who is Gamer Totoy?

2010-05-18T05:04:00.000-07:00

It matters not who Gamer Totoy is. Heck, the picture above may not be him at all. However, the Order can tell you this: He is a pawn. He is a tool of the Order. All that cosplayer-bashing is part of a grand scheme of things. He is one of the Four Horsemen of the Cosplaynati. Every shitstorm in the cosplay scene is the Order's work. For example, that so-called screencap of NCG's plan to create a ruckus in the upcoming Toy Con? That was the Order's doing. Unfortunately, it was discovered to be a hoax but no worries. Evil always finds a way.

For your own information, Gamer Totoy is not a member of the Order. Why would the Order recruit someone who's face looks like a scrotum? Nevertheless, GT has his uses. As long as he continues bashing the cosplay community, the Order grows. If there's one person I would thank for the advancement of the Order, that would be the infamous Gamer Totoy. Continue your noble deeds, Sir Scrotumface. The Order thrives on your filth like a lotus on muddy waters.

We are Cosplaynati. Our power grows.

An official declaration of war from Grandmaster Salvatore

2010-05-18T04:02:00.001-07:00

Greetings. My name is Salvatore, Grandmaster of the Order of The Cosplaynati, the most elite and highly esteemed cosplay organization in the world. For years, we, the Order, have been controlling the cosplay scene especially in the Philippines. We are the ones behind every boon and bane that ever happen to the Filipino cosplay community. Our reason: to dominate. Our dedication to the craft is so strong we saw the potential in it to rule the world. Through strictly covert means, we infiltrated other cosplay groups. Through our agents, we bring ruination to our hated rivals. Now, with the level of power we now wield, we decided to come out, let the cosplay world feel our presence and declare war on every other cosplay group.

To Cosplay Philippines, Cosplay Circle, Nosebleed Cosplay Guild and all others, we declare a cosplay jihad on you and your ilk. Your reign will soon be over. You will all be crushed under the foot of the Order. All your base are belong to us. You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting.

To Alodia Gosengfiao, your reign in cosplay will soon end. The Order will make a new cosplay goddess and she will be prettier and more powerful than you and your sister Ashley combined. The new goddess shall appear when the stars are right.

To the White Knights of Alodia, you now have an enemy other than Gamer Totoy and other Alodia-haters. When the new goddess appears, you WILL kneel before her. Your souls will become hers to possess. Your precious Alodia won't save you.

For now, laugh and think this is all a bad joke. Go ahead, cosplay to your heart's delight, eat your Pocky and drink your Fuji Apple Frostee. By the time you finished indulging in your usual otaku pleasures, we will descend upon you like a swarm of locusts.

We are Cosplaynati. Resistance is useless.

Behold! The Catalyst!

2010-05-17T04:36:00.000-07:00

The Order has orchestrated this upcoming maelstrom of mayhem that will spark a series of fear and chaos. Cosplayers and haters will fight and trust none. Paranoia will engulf the community. Losses will be inevitable in our favor. The destruction of these groups is like hitting two birds with one stone. The war will ensure the advancement of the Order. Even if it fails, we will find another way. Be afraid.

We are the Cosplaynati. Doom and destruction to all rival cosplay groups.

What is The Order of The Cosplaynati?

2010-05-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

We are the Order of The Cosplaynati, an underground cosplay society based in the Philippines. Our aim is not only to become the most popular cosplay group in the world but also the most powerful. We strive to become influential enough to change the course of history and rule the world. To ensure our success, we are working hard to destroy all the other cosplay groups. We have agents who successfully infiltrated groups such as Cosplay Circle, Nosebleed Cosplay Guild, Cosplay PH and even the controversial group of Gamer Totoy. Knowledge is power and with the knowledge we gather from these groups, we will emerge victorious. We've been at this for years and now it is time to let our presence known.

We are the Cosplaynati. We rule cosplay.