GM Salvatore apologizes to the cosplay community just like that certain blogger

I would like to apologize to the cosplay community for my hostility and aggression towards the various cosplay organizations other than the Order. There's a tragic story behind my "supposed" evil. In fact, it's a bajillion times more tragic than what Gamer Totoy went through. You'll shed bucketloads of tears when you read this.



It all started when I attended my first comic book convention. I was 10 years old when Mom and Dad accompanied me. We were on our way to the car after the leaving the convention. I couldn't wait to watch my VHS tape of Neon Genesis Evangelion. We were all happy. Well, except Mom because she caught Dad ogling at a scantily clad catgirl. Correction, nearly all of us were happy.


That is, until tragedy struck. A robber stopped us and pulled out his gun. The scumbag was demanding our money. Dad resisted. The robber shot him. Mom screamed. The robber shot her too. I was traumatized to have seen my parents being gunned down. Their blood stained my Spider-Man costume. The robber was about to shoot me until a strong arm caught his pistol. It was Batman.



I saw fear on the robber's face when he was quickly disarmed. Batman lifted him by the collar, stared into the robber's eyes and uttered these memorable words:

"I like chocolate milk."

Batman knocked the robber out before imparting these epic words:

"But I don't like you."

Suddenly, Luke Skywalker, Wolverine and Son Goku arrived with a couple of police officers. To my disappointment, I found out that my rescuer wasn't really Batman. His name was Fred. He was a private investigator and a big Batman fan. He was a member of a big cosplay organization. My life was changed. I've decided to become a badass cosplayer just like Fred.


NEXT: My Hardcore Training