GM Salvatore apologizes to the cosplay community just like that certain blogger

I would like to apologize to the cosplay community for my hostility and aggression towards the various cosplay organizations other than the Order. There's a tragic story behind my "supposed" evil. In fact, it's a bajillion times more tragic than what Gamer Totoy went through. You'll shed bucketloads of tears when you read this.



It all started when I attended my first comic book convention. I was 10 years old when Mom and Dad accompanied me. We were on our way to the car after the leaving the convention. I couldn't wait to watch my VHS tape of Neon Genesis Evangelion. We were all happy. Well, except Mom because she caught Dad ogling at a scantily clad catgirl. Correction, nearly all of us were happy.


That is, until tragedy struck. A robber stopped us and pulled out his gun. The scumbag was demanding our money. Dad resisted. The robber shot him. Mom screamed. The robber shot her too. I was traumatized to have seen my parents being gunned down. Their blood stained my Spider-Man costume. The robber was about to shoot me until a strong arm caught his pistol. It was Batman.



I saw fear on the robber's face when he was quickly disarmed. Batman lifted him by the collar, stared into the robber's eyes and uttered these memorable words:

"I like chocolate milk."

Batman knocked the robber out before imparting these epic words:

"But I don't like you."

Suddenly, Luke Skywalker, Wolverine and Son Goku arrived with a couple of police officers. To my disappointment, I found out that my rescuer wasn't really Batman. His name was Fred. He was a private investigator and a big Batman fan. He was a member of a big cosplay organization. My life was changed. I've decided to become a badass cosplayer just like Fred.


NEXT: My Hardcore Training

The ManBearPig Incident

This is GM Salvatore writing. Things have been really weird lately which is why I haven't been posting lately. You see, last week, our resident "warlock" Frater Invictus, offered to do an experimental black magick ritual. Our dialogue went along something like this:


Frater Invictus: Greetings Grandmaster. I have an interesting proposal for you and no it doesn't involve gay sex.

Me: What do you have in mind, Frater?

FI: I've been experimenting with chaos magick and I've done some fascinating results in evoking fictional characters. Have you ever watched that South Park episode with Al Gore?

Me: Yes I- GASP! You mean-?

FI: Yes. MANBEARPIG.



We can now use ManBearPig to inflict harm upon our enemies.

Me: What are we waiting for? Lets go!

Soror Lux and I went to Frater Invictus' house to witness his ritual. It was a ritual heavily influenced by shamanism and witchcraft. After ingesting large amounts of nutmeg, FI did a banishing ritual before chanting "ManBearPig" while beating his tambourine. Fifteen minutes later, he stopped because he claimed to have sensed ManBearPig's presence. FI requested ManBearPig's power to ruin our rival cosplay groups. FI thanked ManBearPig for his time and did a banishing ritual.


From that moment on, things REALLY got weird. It's a good thing Soror Lux and I do our daily prayers to the Cosplay Goddess because ManBearPig was messing with us. Doors were mysteriously opened, objects flew around and the unnerving thing was that Soror Lux's cat kept on hissing for no reason at all. Nobody got hurt but it seems that the poltergeist really messed our our PCs. We are pretty sure it was the work of ManBearPig.

Right now, things are back to normal. The PCs are fixed and Soror Lux's cat has reverted back to her lovable feline self. Despite the failure, the Order will try again to control the destructive power of ManBearPig and use it against our enemies. One day, the Order will reign supreme.


We are the Cosplaynati. We summon a fucking cartoon character.

Gamer Totoy bashers are morons

I'm a frequent visitor to Gamer Totoy's blog and I facepalm everytime I see the stupidity of his haters. What a bunch of morons. You see, these idiots think that Gamer Totoy is a real bad guy in the cosplay community. He is not. I repeat, HE IS NOT. A real bad guy acts a lot more sinister (Man I love that word. Say it with me. SINISTER.) in actions complete with cold calculations. You think the Order is trolling. Actually yes we are but this isn't just for the lulz. It's all part of the grand masterplan.

My point is that these haters (especially that fucking nutjob Irenecullen) are wasting their time bashing Gamer Totoy. They should be bashing the Order of The Cosplaynati! Yes, the Order of The Cosplaynati is the real bad guy in the cosplay world. We are the ones behind every shit that happens in the cosplay community. If there's a huge statue of Alodia (I wouldn't be surprised if the White Knights really built a statue of Alodia), we'd be the ones to bomb it just like Cobra trying to bomb the Statue of Liberty.



Yes I know GI Joe always beats Cobra. However, we don't live in a Saturday morning cartoon world. In this world, the bad guys win. Heroes no longer exist. People are spineless nowadays. What's even more spineless than the average person are cosplayers who are not within the Order. Unlike Cobra, the Order always win. To Irenecullen and all the other haters and bashers, I say this unto you: In the end, you will be wiped out when the Order conquers the world. Also, go fuck yourselves.



We are the Cosplaynati. We are the real bad guys.

*evil laugh*



- GM Salvatore